A Quick Fisking

NOT an inconceivable Space Emperor.

NOT an inconceivable Space Emperor.

Man, did this headline ever grab my attention:

Associated Press: No surprise: Penn State punter Jeremy Boone leads the Big Ten

I mean, clearly this has to be about something other than football, because we all know who is the best punter in the Big Ten. Go on, Associated Press, make my day:

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (AP) — Punter Jeremy Boone starts checking the weather forecast on Sundays, then keeps an eye on it all week as he gets ready for Penn State’s next game.

Oh cool, so he’s a budding meteorologist or something. That makes sense, since Penn State is actually quite well regarded in that field.

Whether rain, high winds or a perfect sunny day, the conditions don’t seem to matter — the senior enters Saturday’s game at Michigan (3:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN) leading the Big Ten in punting, just like he’s done the previous two seasons.

Oh. Well, this is not good.

Boone’s booming punts are a big plus on an otherwise so-so special teams unit for the Nittany Lions (6-1, 2-1 Big Ten). He’s averaging a league-best 46.5 yards per punt, almost a yard farther than No. 2 Zoltan Mesko of Michigan. The stingy Penn State defense is the beneficiary with opponents being stuck with poor field position.

“We feed off that immensely,” middle linebacker Josh Hull said. “Jeremy is a big-league punter.

Ah, yes, the old “average yards per punt” statistic. I see your “average yards per punt” and raise you a “net punting average“. Oh, hey, is that Michigan at #2 in the country? 41.88 yards per punt, you say? And that’s the exact change in field position after a punt, not just the amount of yards the punt traveled past the line of scrimmage, you say? Tell me, informed voice, where does Penn State rank in that statistic? Oh my, 86th, you say? Just 34.18 yards per punt? The team’s Achilles heel, even? Oh, goodness. Time to stop reading this crap.

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